Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
