He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
