Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Randomize
