We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Come on in and take your pants off
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