so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
