What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
