how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
