You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
