question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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