i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
