he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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