If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
