We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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