I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
