I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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