I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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