what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
