Whod you bang
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
