It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
