So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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