Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
