4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
