her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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