could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
