I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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