I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
