Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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