he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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