My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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