Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
