i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
