Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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