just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
