It's Friday. Sex?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
