What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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