Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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