If i come over, it means nothing
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
