Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's never too late to be topless.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
