Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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