I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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