And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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