yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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