Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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