If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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