I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
