Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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