But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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