too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Randomize
