I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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