They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
