When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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