Got a toothbrush?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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