I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
