he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
